Douchebag Kept Leaving The Room In The Middle Of Sex To “Go To The Bathroom” LMFAO
Reader Email: So people have been commenting on how I never post about all the asshole guys out there and one of them put their money where their mouth was and sent us this write up of a guy she had dated a while back who was a little strange…
For some reason, in my early twenties I liked to date assholes. Yes, that’s what I said, and that’s what this man in particular was. Just read on, and I promise you will agree. I had been seeing Samuel off and on for a few months. By that, I mean we drank together, which led to sex together. Samuel picked me up on his motorcycle one night for a date. I have to mention that it was sprinkling a little, and I am not a big fan of being on the back of a Harley with nothing to hold on to but the man driving it, a plan obviously designed by men. Granted, this was Samuel’s only form of transportation, so I jumped onto the back of his motorcycle. We went downtown to a local bar where Samuel spent the next two hours staring at the blonde bartender whose breasts were hanging out just enough to expose the top of each nipple. He also spent the remainder of the time texting his female roommate constantly and then telling me how funny she was.
After we left the bar, it wasn’t sprinkling anymore; it was an utter downpour! It was the kind of cold rain that hurts when it hits you and certainly isn’t safe to be driving in on a motorcycle. Samuel and I braved the storm and got on his bike. We safely made it back to his house – a little soaked, but safe. Samuel introduced me to his roommate. I do not recall her name, but she reminded me of Miss Piggy, so that is what I will call her. We sat and watched football for a while, though I am not a fan of football, nor am I afraid to admit that. Soon Samuel and I called it a night and went downstairs to his room. I honestly cared about this man, and I thought he cared about me too. We began to fool around. Of course, like the majority of men, he wanted me to give him a blowjob. I quickly refused because, from past experiences, I know that if I did I would be left there sexually frustrated once again. Don’t think he cared about that or even acknowledged that for one second, because he didn’t. Could you imagine asking your partner to give you head and then, after climaxing, you just rolled over and went to sleep? This is something we as women deal with. We did, however, have intercourse, but something strange was happened. Right in the middle of sex, Samuel jumped up and said he had to go to the bathroom. I thought that made sense because we had been drinking, but he went upstairs butt naked. I thought nothing of it until he got up for a second time during sex, again going upstairs naked to “use the bathroom.” I knew something was going on right then and there, so I stood up and threw on Samuel’s shirt. I could not find my underwear, so I went upstairs without them. I wasn’t the only one running around the house with no pants on!
I was hoping for the best, hoping that Samuel really was using the bathroom, but just like I expected, that wasn’t the case. As I walked around the corner into the living room, there was Samuel, sitting on the couch receiving a blowjob from Miss Piggy. They saw me and kept right at it. I calmly went into the bathroom while deciding if I wanted to make this a big deal or not. I decided not to. I walked passed them on my way downstairs to get my clothes. I still could not find my underwear, so I got dressed without them. Samuel came down and said, “I’m sorry. I thought she was asleep.” I really wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but I asked Samuel if the bitch liked how I taste. “That’s funny,” he replied with a big grin on his face, “She liked it.” In this one moment I knew it was over. I did not want to see this man ever again. In fact, I was actually sick to my stomach. I felt like a fool, almost violated in a way. Maybe I didn’t want her to taste me; Samuel and I were the ones having the intimate moment.
I left his house and began walking to the nearest bar. I knew that someone would pick me up if I didn’t already run into someone I knew, but I had no such luck. The bar was closed when I got there. I had no choice but to call a friend. He immediately came to get me, took me to a bar that was open, and bought several needed shots. He took me home and held me until I fell asleep. I woke the next morning and looked over at my male friend. I realized that not all men are assholes, and in the early morning light, that was nice to know.
I did find out what happened to my underwear, for those of you interested. Samuel’s pit bull ate them. I guess Miss Piggy wasn’t the only one who liked the way I taste!
Wow, I thought I’ve heard it all. But stopping in the middle of having sex with a chick to go get a BJ from your fat roommate?? WTF? Some guys I guess. Geez…
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