Funny And Creepy Email Exchange From Plenty Of Fish

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So our “fake” online profile (basically based on photos from a former Future Ex Kristina) received an email from this creepy old dude seen on the left here.

I should start by including what I wrote up for Kristina’s online profile. Funny thing is, if you knew her, you’d know it’s pretty damn accurate:

Hmm let’s see. I am the shit, as you can obviously tell. I have no trouble getting dates, only problem is all the guys end up being losers. So I figured what the hell. I already am queen sh*t of Boston, I might as well become queen sh*t of POF as well! I’m a funny mother f-er so you’d better be able to keep up. Don’t bother emailing me if you don’t have a picture. I am a stone cold stunner so I expect you to be to

So this profile is set up as located in Boston and listed as 22 years old (I had it in Texas just to be different but they’re pretty damn boring down there) and today we received an email from some guy from fucking Oklahoma who’s 50, which means he’s really probably closer to 60. So here is what he wrote in his first email:

wow i’ve never seen anyone with an ego like yours. does your sh*tstink when it comes out or does it smell like roses. sweetheart you are hot but come on kill that ego. do you write that sh*tjust to get people to talk to you like i am.

So of course I HAD to respond to this creeper (who the hell am I kidding, I’ll be doing the same damn thing when I’m 60, except I’ll be creeping on 22 year olds face to face):

You’re the one creeping my sh*tfrom half way across the country and at twice my age. Creeper.
Besides I just use this for research. And yeah, my sh*tsmells like roses. Oh and cum…

I told Kristina what I wrote to him and she of course loved it, haha. And so this guy proceeds to write back this bullshit. I’m not quite sure what to make of this guy, but the line “it puts the lotion in the basket” comes to mind.

i wrote that just to see if you would respond i guess i’m just doing research also. i’m sorry about that but it did work it got you to respond. did you read my profile i’m a pretty cool guy and i date alot of beautiful woman like you even at my age my last girlfriend was 28 years old and she was hot like you. so no i’m not a creepy guy. i’ve just never seen a profile like yours tell me the truth why did you write your profile to sound like your stuck on yourself. beleave me girls love me im a very fun guy i make very good money and i spoil people rotten. i only date beautiful woman like you. again i just wanted to get a responce from you and i knew that would do it and it did. hi im michael from okla city.message me back!!!

I don’t know about you, but does that picture, the ONLY picture he has on his profile, look like he’s a “pretty cool guy” who dates “alot of beautiful woman like you even at my age”

Oh yeah, and one of the “Interests” he listed (he listed like 100 of them) is “Bible Prophecy”. Anyone else not surprised??

So he goes from giving shit like “who the hell do you think you are” to
“message me back!!!” Maybe it was the shit smelling like cum line?

So tell us, what should we write back to him??? Give us suggestions! Let’s keep this guy on the hook!